I Should Just Disappear
by DK21
Summary: This fanfic is based upon my imagination and canon facts about the "first death" of Kido Tsubumi or the reason why she gained the eyes of concealment (or basically, her ability to disappear).


**_I Should Just Disappear_**

**_This particularly bored person _****_DOES NOT_****_ own Kagerou Project. This fanfic is based upon my imagination and canon facts about the "first death" of Kido Tsubumi or the reason why she gained the eyes of concealment (or basically, her ability to disappear). _**

_Reminiscing that day, I remembered that I woke up in horror. It was directly after everything that had occurred on that particular night, the fifteenth of August. I wasn't in the center of its aftermath, but I felt that the corpses, ruins, and all of it... surrounded me..._

"She is YOURS," mom declared face-to-face to the young business man infront of both of us. I didn't know what she meant but whatever she declared made the man gape wide open, allowing the newly lit cigarette fall from his mouth. The man, for some reason, looks quite identical to that reflection that I always see in the mirror.

After that I've never seen my mom ever again, and has been living with him ever since. I've been welcomed with cold stares as he first introduced me to what he called 'family'. 'Father' adored me. He has shown me to his colleagues with such pride, being the only offspring of his that looks so similar to his physique, something he has always wanted. Night by night, shown to strangers as if I'm a very attractive, priceless artifact plastered in a museum. My 'mother' has looked upon me with envious eyes, cursing herself for not being able to bear something such as I.

_But why should she envy me? Even my 'brothers' has looked upon me with such eyes. Why am I their object of their envy? Should I just disappear before anything worse happens because of me? Why am I such a bother to everyone? Why can't I just fade away from this world so that all of my problems could just now come to an end?_

But I admit that there was a single person who never made me felt that way aside from 'father', my 'older sister.' She made me felt better, and has inspired me to try to continue and gain a happy life I have in this havoc. And for her, I will try my best.

"Daddy seemed to have returned early today!" I shrieked 'happily' as I perched upon the window sill, peeking, happily noting to myself that the engine I have heard was indeed one of Dad's Ferraris.

"Then let us welcome him, isn't that the right thing to do, ne Tsubumi?" Onee-sama has warmly suggested,

"OF 'COURSE IT IS ONEE-SAMMMMMAAAAA!" I shouted at the top of my lungs as I ran down the stairs, ready to greet 'Welcome Back' to the person I've now acknowledged as a father.

"WELCO-"

Daddy has slammed the door behind him as he entered; he kicked his surroundings, including his priced vase into pieces, tore the files under his arm and cursed about

"D-daddy?" it was not like him... the person before me was... scary.

"Father, please, not infront of Tsubumi!" Onee-sama pleaded as blood rushed upon her cheeks,

Father turned to us. He turned to us with different eyes. His eyes used to be filled with glee, the usual mischievousness, and – and, gladness. But now, it was filled with loathing, hatred, and... Madness...

There was a _flash _in his eyes. It turned back to normal; he smiled again and said sorry with a hug. He passed through us and went upstairs, again slamming the door behind him and maybe even thrashing inside it...

"I don't understand..."

Onee-sama saw my look and tried to encourage me saying that's it's okay and that it's alright since father must've only had a bad transaction or something. I never really doubted her words, but I know that father's problem was something bigger...

"Don't worry, people just tend to act in such ways, okay Tsubumi?" she assured with that gentle smile of hers that I know would never change...

_Screeching, screaming, yelling, shouting - and then it all stopped and it was quiet once again... _

"You can't sleep, can you Tsubumi?" Onee-sama asked as she held me closer to her. I couldn't really reply, so I gave a slight nod against her chest.

"Let's get a glass of water shall we."

We crept outside to avoid any stirring to the quiet interior of the place I now called 'my home.' We didn't want to wake up anyone who has still remained asleep. We silently went downstairs, then before us, was mother...

"You... YOU!" she said at me with a disgusted expression, she hurled at me as she pounded her fists angrily in the air, if it wasn't for Onee-sama I would've been hurt,

_"EVERSINCE YOU'VE CAME HERE, YOU BROUGHT NOTHING BUT MERE TROUBLE!"_

_ I know, I'm sorry I've only brought troubled to you..._

"_MY HUSBAND DOES NOT NOTICE NEITHER ME NOR ANY OF OUR CHILDREN ANYMORE, THE ONLY PERSON WHO GAINS HIS AFFECTION WITHOUT DOING ANYTHING WAS YOU!_"

"Mothe-"

_"YOU WHO'S FROM THAT SLUT! THAT SLUT WITH FILTHY GREEN HAIR JUST LIKE YOURS! YOU'RE A NAUSEATING SIGHT IN THIS BEAUTIFUL HOUSE OF MINE!"_

Tears swelled in my eyes, _I'm sorry for being such a bother to all of you..._

"AND NOW WE'RE BANKRUPT! IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF YOUR EXISTENCE YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN BORN YOU SICK PILE OF TRASH, YOU FILTHY B-"

"Mother... Stop. Please... Stop." Onee-sama said in tears as she spoke.

_She too had felt pain because I existed... She was burdened by my existence_

_I want to disappear, to disappear from all of these, please..._

_I don't want to be a burden to anyone anymore..._

_Please..._

_ Red. A maddening red has rose from the curtains, licking it feverishly, eating it quickly... _

_ Fire... it was everywhere. _

_ I saw that red from every corner of my eyes, we were trapped – screams, a pain-filled screech, wailings - it was horrifying; everything was falling and crumbling around me. Then, I heard laughter fill the air, father's... it was hysterical, notorious, and insidious, _

'_That's NOT father's, that's NOT!' I mentally noted to myself as I gradually felt my body heavier. A sharp pang right under my chest, it was now starting to get harder to breathe. Just then have I realized how blazing the heat from the fire really was. Everything was so hazy, nothing felt right anymore. I barely can feel my body when I noticed... the floor turning sideways or something... I received a very hard and painful push from behind but sadly I didn't know who did it for by now I couldn't open my eyes anymore._

_"Can you hear me?" asked an unfamiliar 'vanishing' voice... _

_I woke up... just outside something that used to be the front door of our burnt house... Infront of me was..._ _Onee-sama, or what has been left of her, with her hand_ _reaching towards me, the thing that pushed me outside to safety..._

_**Yes, Danchou had more or less died in this way. Kido wanted to "just fade away from this world so that all of her problems could just now come to an end" and for her to stop bothering and being a nuisance to others. I want to think that her mother died a few days after she had given Kido's custody to her biological father, since she's a mistress and all, but it's also possible that Kido had been in her father's custody since birth, I dunno, the other things in this story is all made up by me. When her father's business got bankrupt, he went mad, burnt his house, family, including himself. That's the story how she died and such, ending up in Azami's 'Never-Ending World' or 'World of Haze.' And yes, I got the 'Can you hear me?' part from Lost Time Memory... The scene of an outstretched hand was inspired from a picture and all, so yeah, that's all.**_

**_~FIN.~_**


End file.
